Erykah Badu "Baduizm" [1997]

Not that I have lots of jazzer friends (thank God), but if I did I'd have to think they'd be downright insulted by Erykah Badu's debut "Baduizm," a collection of casually stoned half-assed vocal bop with R&B beats that illustrates effectively what Billie Holiday would sound like in a modern context... if she were too lazy to give a shit. Less a song cycle than a series of similar-sounding grooves that Ms. Badu sounds too high to recognize are actually different tunes, singing as she does virtually the same lines for all of them, "Baduizm" actually does recycle tracks the deeper this CD goes on (& on). But it's hard to tell at first what's actually just another slow-tempo, minor-key rimshot groove so innocuous you can practically hear the drummer falling asleep. Add in some faux-spiritual nonsense about reincarnation and charms with all the philosophical depth of a freshman girl at an inner-city high school, and you'll soon realize what you've got is the sonic version of an onion: it may seem wholesome and useful at first, but peel away the layers and you'll realize it's stinky enough to make you weep.