Television "Marquee Moon" [1977]

Ever wonder how shit-ass singers like J Mascis and S Malkmus (beware the single-initial first name; just sayin') were able to get signed? Simple: they pointed straight at Tom Verlaine's amateur warbly howl on "Marquee Moon" and said, "These guys were on Elektra." True enough, but Television was mostly of interest to A&R reps back in the day because they were part of that initial CBGB's push, when young New Yorkers were so starved for entertainment that they were willing to use the most disgusting toilets in the history of public venues. They cleverly left out the fact that Verlaine was mostly reputable within that scene for his guitar "prowess," but honestly he's just Brinsley Schwartz with a narcotics habit -- nothing to get too excited about. Besides, nobody bought "Marquee Moon" when it first came out; absolutely everyone who wasn't a mid-70s drug fiend in downtown Manhattan is a latecomer to this band. But junkies like the guys in Television were still pretty bright -- they took a page from Andy Warhol (and passed it on to future suck-meisters Sonic Youth) and rode the hype machine, to whatever extent their crap songs were supported by it, as far as it would take them. And all this before mentioning Verlaine's blatant attempt to cash-in with the "Free Bird" crowd with his tedious, endless solo on the title track. Jesus, guys, if I wanted to get stoned senseless and listen to weak guitar solos all day long I'd be lying in Golden Gate Park listening to Jerry Garcia, not fighting off roaches in some condemned NYC flophouse listening to you douchebags.