The Damned "Damned Damned Damned" [1977]

These repulsive cretins (I know, I know -- punk rockers like being referred to that way) are often cited as having preceded the Sex Pistols on the UK charts. Great, so we've been blaming the wrong shitheads this whole time. A walking nightmare of rock music's seedy underbelly, "Damned Damned Damned" became the perfect album for Jimmy Page to have a nervous breakdown to. The Damned demonstrate all the nutritional value of a smashed watermelon and play like Chuck Berry's illegitimate white children on an amphetamine IV drip. The guitar effect was apparently set on "insect," and it's likely this album's producer/chump popster Nick Lowe was trying to sabotage the entire operation before Stiff Records could release this pile of vomit. Perhaps you'd enjoy other aspects of the obnoxious early punk movement (and I do mean "movement" -- these people took a big, steaming doodie over everything) like getting punched in the face by one of their jackbooted morons at the front of the stage or smell their collective breath of rotten teeth. Face it, punk is a disgrace and you're a disgrace for liking it. The only good thing about the genre, this album and The Damned themselves is they're the musical equivalent of a car going 100 miles per hour straight into a brick wall -- it's bound to be over pretty fucking quick.