Grizzly Bear "Veckatimest" [2009]

Ultimately, the 20th century is responsible for dissonance claiming a place within the musical experience; before then, people played by rules. Had any of those feckless shitheads the slightest inclination what might eventually happen with all the wrong-changing keys and melody lines that are absurdly off being allowed to exist without apology, they might have feared what came to pass with Grizzly Bear's monstrous mutant of a D-minus music skills collection called "Veckatimest" -- an unapproachably opaque ball of echo and pretension that sounds like Arcade Fire after being hit in the head with a baseball bat. Directly from the school of "what the hell is a four-track, anyway?," these cozy East Coast homeschoolers pitch every half-assed and overworked idea that passes through their stoner brains as if by sheer volume of insipidity they'd have something approaching an actual musical statement. They were wrong, but it's no shocker why once you've subjected yourself to even the first few minutes of this aural approximation of David Crosby's vomit. True, they don't stink up the joint as badly as Flaming Lips do, but that's like suggesting someone is less obnoxious than Gilbert Gottfried. The best way to describe this pile of musical schmutz is by following this recipe: deep-fry Radiohead, then leave the contents in the back of the refrigerator long enough for a gross blue fuzz to grow over the surface. Is anyone going to suggest to Grizzly Bear that there is such a thing as too much hydroponic weed, or do I have to do it?