Spiritualized "Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating in Space" [1997]

It's becoming increasingly more difficult to figure out whether Lou Reed fans are more likely to become interested in taking heroin or if lowlife heroin addicts find comfort in listening to Lou Reed. Not that it really matters -- both ways spell fucking disaster, and not just because of the drugs. On Spiritualized's "Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating in Space," all the slo-mo pomp of 70s glam-rock's burnout phase meets all the shit Brian Eno threw away over the previous two-plus decades. They try to dub themselves "space rock," but Neil Armstrong's got nothing on this aimless, nebulous black hole. They could have easily called this album "High Music for High People for High Music..." repeated endlessly, like most of these tracks seem to do. Imagine Philip Glass pretending he's in the Stones, and that pretty much spells this album out with as little effort as these junkies bother to put forth. If you're a hipster doofus who somehow missed this pulsating narco-trash when it came out, think The Jesus & Mary Chain on several bottles of cough syrup. (Hmm -- maybe these fuck-ups thought Lester Bangs was going to give them a good review... in 1997.) Half-timed arrogant garage music with huge dollops of distorted swirl and the "Exile on Main St." horns -- this is what you want to hear for your entertainment? May you never sit up from your disgusting living room carpet.