The Go-Go's "Beauty and the Beat" [1981]

If there ever was an ominous sign that American culture in the 1980s was about to do a decade-long face-plant, it's "Beauty and the Beat," the debut album from LA all-female group The Go-Go's. Immediately, this band strikes the rather sickening verve of The Cars as performed by the Brady Bunch girls. This is the contemporary music version of a pillow fight; essentially they're arresting their own development in order to turn a buck in the music biz. Wouldn't be the first time, but that's no excuse. Because they follow the dumbed-down blueprint of new wave -- bare-bones, jangly rock 'n roll -- The Go-Go's (with that annoying, ever-present possessive apostrophe) were able to get over as a more-feminine Cure with sunshine and rainbows shooting out their asses; they're the B-52s as Republicans. The industry by this time had gotten so good (i.e. "reprehensible") at exploiting the dipshit impulses of high school kids, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. And The Go-Go's themselves, even after predictably imploding after another record or so, nevertheless begat a goldmine just as the MTV blitzkrieg was getting underway: Madonna's annoying nasal vocal delivery comes straight from Belinda Carlisle, and the band's pedestrian vagina-rock gave birth to a Jewish version called The Bangles. Jesus, no wonder people actually considered Chrissie Hynde something special back in the day.