U2 "Achtung Baby" [1991]

Dusting themselves off after collapsing from the top-heavy pretentiousness that was "Rattle and Hum," U2 begins to set the table for new self-inflicted calamities in a new decade with their release of "Achtung Baby," putting the onus on other rock groups to issue each new CD with enough material to fill a double LP -- no matter how lame that material is. These self-proclaimed God-fearing rock gods give their insipid fan base the whole enchilada here: ready-made commercial jingles (you can't tell me "Even Better than the Real Thing" wasn't created by Pepsi's ad department), overt spiritual shamanism (yick -- is there anything less palatable from our rock stars?), recounting Jesus stories (um, yes -- yes there is) and echoey arena grandstanding designed to cause involuntary lighter-flicking. The rest is all filler -- aping formerly successful rockers like John Lennon, David Bowie, Echo & the Bunnymen... except only those guys when they were under heavy sedation. That the members of U2 seem to have remained relatively drug-free only makes this laconic execution all the more inexcusable. Perhaps U2 is just tired of all the bombast themselves. If so, it seems a helluva way to deal with it -- pumping out more and more, as if it'll expel from their collective body like so much spooge. I guess deep down, all rock stars really do think the same.