Prince "Purple Rain" [1984]

If there ever was anyone who needed to wack off before writing a bunch of songs, it's Prince before coming up with his embarrassingly horned-out "Purple Rain." Apparently, his main interest -- besides displaying his self-congratulatory exhibitionism -- was having sex with ugly girls (got to think that despite his ability to get a movie made based on this album, Hollywood producers must have had a problem with either the girls or the ugliness -- not sure which they found worse), though I thought his ripping off of godawful Robert Palmer riffs was far more offensive. Ultimately, Prince riding Michael Jackson's coattails to fame and fortune has to be his biggest infraction on the dumbfuck music-buying public in 1984, with his faux-Hendrix guitar noodling and ELP synthesizer abominations. Prince's "Purple Rain" stands out as an example of profound abuses inflicted on 1980's culture, and we are the worse for having experienced him/it.