U2 "The Joshua Tree" [1987]

Jesus Christ, do these guys suck. By 1987, of course, this was no secret to anyone, but "Joshua Tree" displays U2 at its most sickeningly bloviated. More grandiose than a Liberace chandelier, the band's pompous anthems are -- far from romantic odes to freedom -- claustrophobic kowtowing to Top 40 aesthetics and pathetic self-righteousness, gobbed with toxic amounts of hair gel and gauzy overproduction. The aggressive con artist/bible salesman going by the name Bono does his utmost to conquer America one dumb suburban white kid at a time. It might have even worked had it not been for the man's (and the band's) Irishness, which, true to form, disallowed them from actually being able to conquer anything. Associations to the biblical story involving the joshua tree only make sense if legions of people stage a mass exodus against this album and this band.