R.E.M. "Murmur" [1983]

This schmucky band of Southern sad-sacks was so abused by IRS Records' demands to keep touring America for next to nothing in the early 80s that it seems the music industry took deep pity on them when their debut LP "Murmur" was released, and decided to like it (there's literally no other reason for them to have done so). Problem is, by this time in their young lives R.E.M. already sound like creaky-boned old-timers -- a cautionary tale if ever there was one. I mean, at least Black Flag got to beat the crap out of everybody when the monotony got to be too much. That said, with all the performance time these guys had accrued by this time, you'd think lead singer Michael Stipe would have bothered writing lyrics for his songs. But no, not this neo-hippie. Even more egregiously, this band had no fucking idea what to do once they finally lucked their way into the recording studio. "Murmur" is a pastiche of fake-art cluelessness: ripped-off 60's guitar riffs (that didn't work when Tom Petty used them, so why'd R.E.M. think they'd fare any better?) and enough idiotic echoing effects to assure the listener that producer Mitch Easter was scared shitless that everyone was going to see through this big pile of kudzu. Ironic they named their band R.E.M. when they were all clerarly in need of some sleep; lucky for the rest of us we get it immediately upon listening to "Murmur."