Beastie Boys "Paul's Boutique" [1989]

There's a very important reason it's "Paul's Boutique" -- an album nobody bought when it first came out -- that's cited as "great" by Beastie Boys' fans: they knew celebrating the frat-house nightmare of "Licensed to Ill" would get them laughed straight outta the conversation. The party of obnoxious self-congratulation continues with "Paul's Boutique," though more obscurely and hit-lessly: Ad-Rock's sour bitch-whine can still burn your nose-hairs, but all the other guys can muster is the idea that if hip-hop had broken through on a national level by the Beasties rather than Run-DMC -- who they stole their entire schtick from -- the whole industry would have gone exactly nowhere. Poorly conceived rock radio samples, grade-school scratching and broad-based bragging that a blind man could see was total horseshit, the Beastie Boys unapologetically and persistently answer the unasked question: "What would rap music sound like if it had been founded in the Catskills?" This group does provide an important insight into the psyche of wannabe hipsters of the 80s and 90s, however: they prove indefatigably that white people never understood hip-hop. So when the Beasties say "racism is schism on the serious tip," they're not interested in black equality -- they want to be allowed to weasel their way onto the scene without impunity. Why'd anyone let 'em get away with it?