Guru "Jazzmatazz, Volume 1" [1993]

Killing the entire vibe right out of the gate, Gang Starr rapper Guru brings hip-hop self-congratulation to an entirely new level with the opening track of "Jazzmatazz, Volume 1," wasting time introducing the band of Blue Note-style jazzers who had yet to play anything on the CD. (Isn't that what jacket covers are for, moron?) Anyway, Guru finally jumps the shark by specifically and restrictedly joining rap beats and rhymes with outdated bop-jazz phrases and solos of the 50s and 60s, rather than allow different styles of music to organically grow within the rhythms, like hip-hop did when it was actually successful. Even worse, Guru's rhymes are even more washed-out and obtuse than LL Cool J's -- you could find better rappers on any street corner in New York in the early 90s. Furthering his series of imbecilic decision-making for this album is the modernized, repetitive female "hooks" a la Brand New Heavies, probably added as an afterthought once his rep at EMI threw the original masters back in his face. What it all amounts to is one huge aggregate compromise: be-bop without the freedom, hip-hop without the edge, philosophy without the depth and culture without the fun. It's amazing anyone bothered with Us3 after this debacle.