Oasis "What's the Story, Morning Glory?" [1995]

Blame Mick Jagger. For a lot of things, actually, but specifically in reference to Oasis: Mick made it OK to spew any lyrical nonsense at all and have it get over, as long as it's vocalized with the right amount of torque and snarl. But fuck that -- it just cheapens the experience for everyone who might just want to find some meaning in what they're listening to. But you'll die before figuring out what the fuck "Wonderwall" is supposed to be about. Elsewhere, Oasis' solo John Lennon LP collection influence is showing, and doing nobody any favors. Slow, boring arena rock -- which Coldplay "perfected" a decade later -- "What's the Story, Morning Glory?" ushered in an avalanche of mostly unintended calamities, including Russell Brand's career, where he was able to lampoon shiftless limey rock-star douchebags like Noel and Liam Gallagher with little effort. That they may have been considered Britain's version of Nirvana means little, save two minor differences: Oasis screamed a lot less and needed extensive dental work a lot more. They're actually a lot closer to the UK version of Pearl Jam: providing broad, vacuous, meaningless musical gestures to legions of broad, vacuous, meaningless Gen-X Ticketmaster victims. If anyone tries to tell you the 90s were the "good ol' days" of rock, prove them wrong by playing this CD.