Husker Du "Zen Arcade" [1984]

Not sure what good being a hardcore player with a conscience does when you're just going to beat your brains stupid on the edge of the stage anyway. Essentially some sort of update of "Tommy" for desensitized speed freaks, "Zen Arcade" is supposedly the master work of Bob Mould, Grant Hart and the dude with that big, gay mustache. Trouble is, that deaf, dumb and blind kid was more dynamic than whoever the main character of this album is; nothing happens within the "Zen Arcade" story that couldn't exist as a slogan on one of those cutesy kitten posters. Then again, if I weren't so distracted that Mould and Hart were about to rupture a blood vessel in their head while screaming their unintelligible lyrics -- can't tell which one of them sounds more like Bobcat Goldthwait getting his nipples pierced -- perhaps something more worthwhile might emerge. Too painful to sit through a second time, though; maybe someone who finds Sonic Youth too poppy would have more of an appetite for this molten static. Basically, if you're this keen on aural assault, you could always just go join the Army and get in a war or something.