Blondie "Parallel Lines" [1978]

Nowadays, it's commonplace to hear rock music led by female voices, but if you've ever wondered why it took so long for this to take hold (aside from your occasional Olivia Newton-John or Sheena Easton), re-introduce yourself to "Parallel Lines," a sad, tired excursion through the world of 70s New Wave, without the edge, recklessness, insubordination or anything else that made that movement worth paying attention to. Blondie as a band is basically Graham Parker and the Rumour with blonde hair and tits but without any of the songwriting talent. It's no wonder this bland bunch of poseurs lurched toward rap and reggae in their follow-up efforts; "Parallel Lines" must have been what cokeheads put on when they got home with their 'ludes and cognac so they could get some sleep. Honestly, the filler here makes "Hotel California" sound exciting. Fronted by Debbie Harry, whose life up until then was probably ten times more interesting than what she's able to convey on vinyl here, she was the female version of what wash-outs David Johansen and Iggy Pop had become by the late-70s. Witness the disco sell-out "Heart of Glass" and tell me Rod Stewart is the only singer who should have been convicted of a musical felony back then.