Daft Punk "Random Access Memories" [2013]

Too bad Daft Punk wasn't around during the actual era of disco -- it would have killed the movement dead in its tracks, sending the Bee Gees to the thrift store to trade in their white leisure suits for a pair of chest-hair clippers. The late-70s would have then been a Travolta-free zone, and Sylvester would have likely turned out straight. Daft Punk's "Random Access Memories" is so blandly redundant and bubble-gummy -- featuring an aged Nile Rodgers with the musical equivalent of erectile dysfunction -- it sounds like Boz Scaggs converted into elevator Muzak. Whereas this band used to provide aggressive, anonymous danceclub flatulence -- thus legitimizing both the "Daft" and "Punk" in their band name -- here they've simply gone straight-up Hall & Oates filtered through a rudimentary disco robot. Jesus Christ, this shit is really unbearable; Daft Punk makes Massive Attack sound like Beethoven. And for good (heinous) measure, they go heavy with the Autotune, just in case you thought Jay-Z and Kanye choruses haven't been irresponsibly annoying enough over the past few years. Serge Gainsbourg had more interesting diabetic comas than this album. Throughout track after track, "Random Access Memories" has this vague, antiseptic, creepy futurism about it -- like if North Korea were to take over the world in the next 20 years. And the longer I endure this snooze-fest debacle, the more being governed by Kim Jong-un sounds like a decent alternative.