The Slits "Cut" [1979]

A back-of-the-envelope calculation that might indicate whether you're listening to punk rock or new wave goes something like this: a new waver brings his/her song to the party to hopefully keep the fun going; a punker brings his/her song to close the joint down immediately. That said, I still have no fucking idea what The Slits are trying to do on "Cut," the weird, manic debut from 3 British junkie chicks, one of whom actually has a German accent. Screaming, noodling, fucking, shoplifting and cooking up drugs is just some of the "fun" that's in store here -- it's almost like they're trying to get their listeners in trouble with the cops simply by playing this record, as if we're somehow complicit with these itchy, neurotic, often nauseating tunes and their reeking insubordination. Jesus, they even named themselves The Slits -- how can they or any of us have an ounce of self-respect any longer after knowing this? Musically, everything's just as bizarrely whacked-out: it's a combo of disorienting pop jangle and reggae grooves dismembered and disfigured like so many abused Barbie dolls. Lead freak Ari Up might be maliciously evil or she might be a complete moron; even after listening to this whole album it's impossible to know which. Basically, most strange girls you don't know might spell trouble, but usually it's because you want to fuck them. The Slits are serious trouble without it even passing your mind to want to kiss them.