Kool & the Gang "Celebrate!" [1980]

Tempting as it would be to blame Earth, Wind & Fire for the flaccid funk-pop that was to usher in the pre-Michael Jackson "Thriller" Era -- meaning ball-less white pop-rock groups like REO Speedwagon now had their black counterparts -- ultimately it was Stevie Wonder's "Songs in the Key of Life" that softened spirited grooves and church music until they resembled so many fluff-dried kittens, with pretentious jazz modulations and squeaky-clean horn sections. Even after disco was taken out to the woodshed, jive-ass groups like Village People and Kool & the Gang, especially on "Celebrate!," somehow persisted with their saccharine beats and vacuously generic positive sentiments. Kool & the Gang had been around for years by this time, but they were by now so edgeless they made Chuck Mangione sound like Miles Davis. Black pop had already taken a slick and greasy turn for the worse once Quincy Jones got his hooks into the Brothers Johnson, but Kool & the Gang take it another large step more neutered (another couple inches taken off the "brothers' johnson," if you will). Goddamn, it's hard not to be provoked to serious anger listening to this musical goosh; Kid Creole's even like, "toughen your shit up, fellas." I wonder if smooth jazz radio programmers simply plugged in "Celebrate!" on an endless loop instead of whatever crap they usually play that even one person would notice the difference.