The Black Keys "Thickfreakness" [2003]

Just in case you ever wondered how someone would reinterpret 70s FM album-oriented rock after listening to it in a coma for a year, the answer is The Black Keys' "Thickfreakness," an album so sludgy it sounds like all the instruments were dipped in motor oil. Imagine if Paul Rodgers was even more drunk and played guitar himself the whole time -- it might have been enough for Jimmy Page to shake his skag habit and fire him from Swan Song. But in the early Aughts, it was the most thrifty (i.e. "cheapskatednest") time in music biz history; they all knew Napster was driving them into bankruptcy so set a limit of no more than two- or three-piece rock groups. Thus, Lynyrd Skynyrd had more personnel than an entire triple-bill of The White Stripes, The Black Keys and Wolfmother. To call them the "lean years" would be a drastic understatement; they were positively anorexic. So "Thickfreakness" therefore comes off as a discarded basement demo tape of whichever Black Crowes members (speaking of anorexic) weren't too stoned to show up to rehearsal. That means, just like the way Jack and Meg White trip over themselves trying to keep a groove from collapsing from sheer lack of talent, it's the same thing inflicting The Black Keys. Perhaps the record companies were too cheap to even allow for second takes? "Thickfreakness" is a painful reminder just how far a once-mighty genre has fallen.