The Verve "Urban Hymns" [1997]

Face it -- rock bands have never known how to handle samples, and they never should have tried. Anyone who's listened to The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony" -- and that means everybody -- knows exactly what I'm talking about: they took that slow, sucky violin concerto loop and bopped everyone over the head with it mercilessly until we were begging for the Spice Girls to come save us. Yes, it was a very bleak way to end the Millennium. Elsewhere, the Verve keeps the same laconic groove throughout their breakout album "Urban Hymns" -- no rap songs, by the way, so someone probably should have re-thought that title -- apparently subscribing to the Charlatans UK newsletter, only the Verve sound like the hangover after the rave party. They also go for the stadium-lighter ballads of Oasis, but they're so glum they sound like they're ready to curl up under a blanket while onstage at the arena. Aerosmith in the late 70s gave better concerts than that. Apparently, these guys are under the impression that minor-key progressions innately have depth; really they just sound like lazy guys trying to sound like they have depth. Even Radiohead's like, "C'mon, chums -- buck up!" Just goes to show: if you do tons of drugs before you finally make it, you're bound to just bore the shit out of everybody when your time comes.