Elton John "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" [1973]

Dorothy's house should have fallen on HIM, a far nastier witch (with worse shoes) than anyone in the land of Oz could have dreamed up. Somehow, Elton John was able to make hotel-lobby piano-playing palatable, but by "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" things had clearly gotten way out of control -- it was only another step from here that saw Elton dressed up like Donald Duck onstage. In truth, the stench of 70s pop emanates from this record more than any other: the pretentious orchestrations, the ass-kissing of fame for fame's sake, the claustrophobic worldview. The two-album set is botched beyond comprehension by overcompensatingly hetero lyricist Bernie Taupin, who so-helpfully tells us all that "Marilyn was found in the nude" (when his lyrics are at all intelligible, which is rare -- what a huge waste of money paying that guy!). That the producer of "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" felt the need to pipe in false applause for "Benny and the Jets" says volumes: this album reeks of fake greatness -- Elton John is the Wicked Witch and the Wizard rolled into one.