John Cougar Mellencamp "Scarecrow" [1985]

On the outside chance you're looking for the exact moment Heartland Rock should have resulted in a death sentence, you've just struck pay dirt. The arrogant hick once known as Little Johnny Cougar slathers the Midwestern sentiment so thick you can almost smell the cow shit. "Scarecrow" encompasses everything one might hate about a place like Indiana: grooves as flat and boring as a cornfield, reeking populist "anthems" about nobodies doing nothing special, and an undeserved self-importance through a voice considered "soulful" only by people who've never heard or seen a black person before. "Scarecrow" is a Reagan-era nightmare in stone-washed jeans and a mullet. Just Say No.