Justin Timberlake "FutureSex/LoveSounds" [2006]

Sleaze-peddlers found the perfect mule to transport their raunch through Middle American Howdy Doody Justin Timberlake, the least-likely-looking rape suspect of anyone with a penis (presumably, that is -- his falsetto's not exactly affirming anything). In the real world, Timberlake's far more likely a rape victim. But, of course, in the world of entertainment fantasy, even a Mickey Mouse Club alum like JT can pretend to be a sex machine. Anyway, if I'm Prince, I'm suing this curly-haired bastard until he can't walk right anymore. It's unclear to me who Timberlake saved from getting hit by a bus, but it must have been someone high up on the music biz food chain, because there is scant evidence here or anywhere in his past work (N'Sync, etc.) that justifies his lofty pedestal in the industry, pedestrian talent that he clearly is. If "FutureSex…" relies on these washed-out dance tunes in any way, I'd rather be a relieved eunuch.