George Michael "Faith" [1987]

In the music business, to say somebody is the most full-of-himself in the an(n)als of its history is really quite a statement. Yet here we are: George Michael's "Faith." The former Wham! boy has traded in his white short-shorts for leather and stubble; he fools nobody. Actually, not true -- he's cleverly gender-neutral enough for young women of the late 80s to be fooled into thinking he's talking about them (those girls deserved everything they got back then, BTW, with their claw-hair and leg warmers). George Michael is yet another in a long line of Prince imitators whom the Purple Midget was within rights to sue for copyright infringement, but likely refrained because he didn't want to be associated in any way with flaccid pop like "I Want Your Sex." The Prince-aping even goes so far as to include bad church organ via Procol Harum with the shits. Needless to say, "Faith" requires one giant leap of one to consider this worth listening to at all. Bad enough you got suckered in when you still chewed bubblegum.